I LOVED THIS

actors.

so i've come to realize that what i most appreciate about actors is that they possess a kind of sensitivity to human emotion, whether it's something they do that is laughable, horrible, kind hearted, or just day to day normal-if they succeed in making someone laugh, chuckle, cry, feel sympathetic or empathetic or just feel anything, then they've succeeded at their job. but if we look at them and are able to tell that their heart's not in it or we don't think that they "fit" the role, then maybe something's not right. i feel like that lots, like i'm not putting enough into it. it's so hard to be able to make a role perfect and un-criticizable, and if people do criticize then maybe it's a good thing, sometimes. it makes you more driven and also more experienced and tough, man. being a physical portrayal of anything is difficult if you look at that thing you have to be and try to see it for what it is. there is a certain amount of truth in a passionate actor because they are searching so deeply for the right outcome, effect, and truth in the character itself. i used to be in plays and wonder, why am i doing this-is it because i want something to fit into or to be defined as?
i like to think it was deeper than that, that being another character is what makes the job so compelling; that you can be someone so outside yourself and still be relatable in so many other ways; and be able to affect people minds, lightly or heavily.
anywho why am i writing this. i am on a spree and may edit or delete it at a later time :) but for now it stays. just like me and acting...haha. i love it but i don't think i have the talent, guts and strength, or capacity to do it forever..so i really admire people that are going to.

hey guys, wow you are reading this! it is mostly just stuff i've been writing over the past little while about nothing in particular haha...it's rough and well kind of strange but thanks for reading it anyways. but believe me you don't have to go any farther : )
i hope you have all had amazing holidays so far. more to come!

life, man

I write down words
then cross them out, as i see fit
squiggle over what could've
been okay, if i'd rearranged
or replaced or even elaborated,
fixed the words i'd looked back over
in disgust
or embarrassment.
but then again maybe they're better, more real
than the ones that look nice?
now though, what could have been alright has turned into
a great giant blob
of ink.
0 :

latenightwriting?

plenty of money's been wasted
careless splurges to colour days
that wind up in the back of my closet
regret?
even in the simplest things
which might be worse
as i get mad for fixating
on something so small and helpless
time has gone
dissapeared down the drain
dissolved into a mirror
from my indulging
time lost, sometimes, with those i thought
cared more, i guess.
what defines wasted?
i know though
that nothing is wasted with you.
with a good laugh
that can make a class, a lunch, a day
sleeping away, thinking away
what could have been good
if only i'd tried more to save
the time, to capture it--
but then it would become definable, organized
and where could we start from
then?